Thanks so much for the email. It really breaks my heart to hear about Justin and Janalyn!!! I really do feel for them. I wish I could be at home right now to comfort them. Can you please do that for me? Show them my love for them. I feel horrible that out of all people, they are the ones who have to go through this trial. I hope that they are rewarded big time for this one. I really hope that little Cannon will be ok. I really want to meet him. He looks super cute in those pictures you sent me. I hope things turn out for the better. I read today in the scriptures Alma 57:16-17. These verses really stood out to me. This chapter is Helaman telling Moroni all the things that have happend to his army and the stripling warriors. He talks about how they had so much success over the Lamanites that they didn't have any room for them. So they selected men to take the prisoners to Zarahemla. Verse 17 then says that those who had left for Zarahemla returned the next day without the prisoners. Helaman said that he didn't inquire because the Lamanites were upon them and those who had left and returned, returned just in time to save them. That really stood out to me a lot. I thought to myself, all things, whether good or bad, happen for a reason. In the end result though (whether short or long), the thing that happens will be for our benefit. I know that this is a super hard time for everone. This will help us, though. The Lord will benefit us if we keep faithful and turn to him. You can share that with Justin and Janalyn if you want. I am glad to hear that you and everyone else had a good week. I am glad that Bug only has 4 games left. I can't wait for him to be out of football. I hope that Kamas is doing good and Kendi also. It is crazy stuff happening in Gilbert, AZ whille I'm gone.
So I am having problems with my new companion. He is a transfer 15. We have gotten in so many arguments in the past week. I have been in more arguments with him than I have since I got to Japan. You know how at the beginning of my mission I struggled with missionary work and finding happiness in it. Well, over the past couple months I have been doing really good and finding the joy in my mission. So on Saturday night we got into an argument over a Japanese class. The class was offered every day. He wanted to go on P-day(today) and I didn't. I told him that there were classes on everyday and why did we need to go on our P-day. He then told me how he wanted to help these people and the area (which I do, too). He then continued to tell me that when I start serving these people, it is then that I will be happy. I said that I was happy because I thought I was serving them. He then told me that I wasn't happy and that he wished that I could see myself. I was P.O.ed at this point and ready to pound in his freaking face. I couldn't believe that he said that. I have given up everything I had to come on this mission. I know that I have problems with finding joy in the work, but I felt like I have really made progress. In just 5 minutes, though, he tore all that down. I really started to ask myself then if my mission has been worth it. Becasue if I haven't been serving people, then the Lord wouldn't be accepting my misison. As you can see, it really did some damage. I really thought that I have been serving these poeple the last 5 months. Good thing Fast Sunday was the next day. After the argument, I went to the floor and poured out my heart to the Lord on the issue. I then fasted for getting along with my companion and being united with him. I think it went very well. On Monday I got to talk to that one phycologist dude. I told him what had happend and he told me that my companion had no right to do what he did. I quess there is a technique to degrade someones character and that is what my companion did.
I know that I still have a lot to learn. I also know that the Lord put me with this comp for a reason. Maybe for him to learn something from me? I am sure I have something to learn, though. I really am trying to be more united with him but it is so hard. Some missionaries are just super wierd and aren't themselves. They always talk about being consecrated and doing everyting they can to have the spirit. You know what I think? If you aren't having fun, you aren't consecrated. God has given us rules to follow so we can have fun. If we aren't having fun we don't have the spirit. If we are preoccupied with other things, we miss what is in front of us. I can keep going on. My comp told me that if I did follow the rules that the Lord wouldn't give me his spirit> That is B.S. When I was baptized, I was given the gift of the Holy Ghost. The Lord has promised me his spirit. Ya, I know that I have to do my best, but I am going to goof up sometimes. It is by the spirit that I recognize I goofed up and need to change. Some missionaries just have really wierd thinking.
I am trying my best, mom, I really am. I don't want to sound prideful about anything. I am trying to be humble and willing to learn. All these things I just said have been things I've thought about since I fasted. I think they really will help. I will continue to try and love my comp. I am looking all the time for oppurtunites to serve him. It is super hard. He doesnt like jokes and talking about things, so it's super hard to connect. Good thing I only have 5 weeks left! I think I can handle that. Well, the rest of my week was ok. Just lots of problems inside of the apt. I really am looking for ways to strengthen that situation. I am super excited for conference. I hope that I will get some answers to my questions. I am sure I will.
The weather is getting cold and I need clothing. I am from AZ and I love the heat and hate the cold. Well, winter time cold. It is getting winter time cold here. Just letting you know. I don't have any winter clothing. Our apt. has no heating systems in it and I don't have a coat or sweater. I want both! I am ok now, but in like 4 or 5 weeks I will not be. I need whatever you think is appropiate for winter clothing. I would really love a hoody, though. It's like a shrt with a hood and pockets on the front.
The language is coming along ok. I wish it would come faster, though, but it is coming and I can see a difference. Just letting you know.
I am super sad about Justin and Janalyn. Please let them know how much I love them and care about them. Let them know that I will be praying for them all the time. I love you mom. I can't wait to hear form you again. God be with you always. I know that he is. I love and pray for you always!!!
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