Letter 05 June 2011

Dear Family,
Well, i can't believe that by the time you read this, i will have been in Japan for 2.5 weeks. that just blows my mind! Japan is really fun, interesting, and VERY different. My first couple of days were super fun because I was in Japan. But as that wore off the culture shock hit me. Everyone here looks the same. That drives me nuts. I do not think I will marry an Asian. Everyone here has the same facial structure. It makes me frustrated but I know I have to love these people so I can prosper and the work of the Lord can prosper. I just have to put my shoulder to the wheel and push this work along. Seeing cars drive on the opposite side of the road is pretty mind blowing too! All the cars here look the same also. So all this is piled onto the factor that I don't speak Japanese! So it has been a very overwhelming week 1.5. But I have been praying very hard every single night. You know I thought that these thoughts of homesickness were gone after the MTC. But the thoughts of coming home have never been more pressed in my mind. I hate having these thoughts of inadequicy or how ever you spell that flippin word. I was filling pretty confident on my Japanese that I learned before I left the MTC. But it SUCKS here! I have no clue what anybody says and it feels lke i have forgotten all the Japanese that I learned in the MTC. It is going to be a long next couple of months. I am not looking forward to it in anyway possible! Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Anyway, i know i should not focus on this subject too long, it does not invite the spirit and makes me focus on other things. i love you guys so much! i really do. i miss you guys more than anything.i know that satan is trying to put false thoughts into my heard about you guys. he knows that that is my weak spot. he puts thoughts regarding your guys safety and health. i care about you so much that i wonder if these will all come try. and it makes me want to come home. i want all of you to be at my homecoming. so please do not die or do anything stupid!!!! i love you all so much. i really do worry about you! it has to be the hardest thing for me to not focus on. but i hope that the first week is the hardest. that's what everyone tells me. so hopefully it will get easier.
brothers or anyone( sorry sisters, but the bros and dad have been in my shoes before!) if any of you have advice, i would love to hear it. i miss talking to all of you every night. your advice really helps me out. i love getting to read what you guys have to say. so please send me some advice. DAD, i would love to hear advice that you have for me. i only get to read e-mails once a week and that ain't enough. you are my father. i know i need to be a man, but i love having advice so i can improve. i try so hard to keep my spirits up, but getting funny looks, not speaking the language, and getting rejected brings my spirit low. i really do miss talking to you and just telling my life to you. i love you and look up to you a ton! i fasted today so i can more fully focus on my purpose and get the language faster! i hope it was successful! i love fasting and exercising my faith to get the things i need. i hope all is well at home. i miss it so much! japan is great but i would rather be with my best friends over being in another country. but i know the lord needs me here and i need to realize that and just go to work. i look forward to reading e-mails and letters from all! Kamas, thanks for the card. it meant a lot! it smelled nice too! tell Dirty Mike and the Gang i say " Whad Up". tell Karli, that one girl that we hung out with, the one that is 19, i say what up and she should write me! thanks again for the card! i love you bro. i love justin, janalyn, kolter, tank, gunner, cannon, dagen, kelly, hunter, holden, hudson, hastings, kamas, boo, marilyn, kendi, bug. MOM and DAD, i love you guys more than anything!! you guys are the nectar to my flower! i look forward to hearing your letters and voices in the near future! :) i'll pray for you always. please do the same for me. i hope you enjoi the pics and video. glory be to our God! may he be with you always!
PEACE
Love your brother and Son,
Elder Kurt Arie Van De Graaff